Cheating is not a laughing matter in Indonesia and people can lose their marriage, reputation, family and dignity on an adventure . In Aceh, adultery is punishable by up to 100 strokes of the cane - the previous law included stoning by death, which was canceled because of protests of human rights. rates and Indonesia divorce infidelity incidents increases -. in 2014, there were 333,000 divorces in 2013 and three out of ten marriages ended in divorce
But why do we deceive? When I arrived in Indonesia, my young friend, who was married at the age of 17 years and had a child, revealed to me that she had engaged in various business by the early twenties. She did not marry for love, but on the advice of his family. His story reminded me of classic The Cry Khalil Gibran Graves , on arranged marriages problems of young girls to older men in Lebanon. sentenced protagonist of the story has become an adulteress in his pursuit of love after abandoning his arranged marriage.
But if we make a love match and we discover that our partner has been unfaithful? Or what should we do if the vibrations of love begin to diminish and temptation begins to hide in a vacuum?
Indra Noveldy, author of Menikah Untuk Bahagia and his wife Nunik Hermawati
I questioned Indra Noveldy, author of Menikah Untuk Bahagia (married happiness), which offers marriage counseling in Jakarta. solutions he seeks to find in helping customers work hard for their happiness and answer their repressed feelings and believes that this problem in Indonesia often involves psychological problems arising from problematic parenting styles. With his wife Nunik Hermawati he directed Sekolah Pernikahan online wedding school to help the lives of a million people across Indonesia.
"Does anyone have a purpose to cheat when they will marry Certainly not the case Why That?!?. Because there are needs that are not satisfied Poor communication is a recipe for business and want to resolve everything too fast only aggravates the situation: "Because I can not do it at home, I'll get out," said Indra. " many problems occur in married life due to lack of science (knowledge) about married life. Often, after being married for many years, it is unfamiliar. Sometimes they do not know. Ego is another great emotionally immature problem, do not have a clear goal in building a marriage, heavy / bitter past, are only some of the problems. Among these problems, the most influential factor is the communication and the willingness to listen, "added Indra, which has experienced many problems during its first seven years of marriage with Nunik, and they almost divorced several times .
Realizing that there were many people face similar marital problems in Indonesia, they decided to share their experiences in their book. "The divorce rate in Indonesia is quite high and our own experience and observation, we realized that the knowledge about the existing marriage is low. Many refer to financial preparation, work, home and other issues when talking about marriage. In fact, state of mind is very important. This advice is always provided when I give advice. However, we realize our limitations - what about those who can not pay the counseling fees? What about those who live far from Jakarta? "Explained Indra. For these reasons, it has created an online wedding school for anyone to join and share their experiences and knowledge with others.
Khalil Gibran
"When I arrived in Indonesia, my young friend, who was married at the age of 17 and had children, revealed to me that she had engaged in various business by the early twenties. She did not marry for love, but on the advice of his family. "
Why infidelity and restlessness of a problem in Indonesia? You may have heard of brothels posing for karaoke bars, or the famous Dolly Street in Surabaya. Is the subject of sex brushed under the carpet and, therefore, people try to find other markets to fill their repressed desires? How couples can reconcile and learn to be more content and grateful for their partner
A writer and social activist from East Java offered the following comment on the subject:
"In talking about infidelity means to discuss the marriage institution's position in a culture, how is the company the value of this institution is there something sacred or dogmatic or profane and transactional this will also depend on? society in which it is installed - is it Conservative or Liberal villages in Indonesia networks a "big family" where everyone is responsible for the other form; this means that a case becomes a family affair? . Honor and achievement are collective possessions and must be high. cities are made of complex social strata in which people hold contrasting values, and there are fewer family ties. This forces the people of the city to become more individualistic and they interact more transactional - there is no social or cement does not work optimally. This does not necessarily mean that marriages are sterile in the city of romance and commitment.
"In the city, when the couple love and their guardians allow it, marriage can follow. While in the village, many aspects must be included, such as Kyai (priest Islamic), priest, elders and family network. This causes the institution of marriage in the village for more supervisors, which narrows down the possibility of a case in the future. in short, I think the infidelity is something that could happen to anyone. But if communication is still going well, if both parties explain openly and honestly what they want or do not want their partner, I think the chances of a deal are slim. "
However, it takes time. Indra believes that patience is the key in developing more confidence, intimacy and commitment, "If we are indeed worthy of being trustworthy, we must not demand to be trustworthy. We must continue to deliberately grow the vibrant love between husband and wife. The marriage with a partner is only a possibility, but love the person we marry is a decision. "
www.SekolahPernikahan.com Visit for more information.